Metabolically Bisturbile

boxofwires @ 2008-03-31T00:23:00

2008-03-30T23:30:02Z

Fuck this pile of fucking shite.

No hay banda

2008-03-28T10:26:58Z

When I set passwords for people in work these days I always find myself choosing a word that in some way refers to a David Lynch creation.

I'd gotten used to the fact that nobody ever understood my little private joke, until today, while on the phone to a gentleman in Belgium.

"Silencio!" he said with a giggle, after I'd spelled the password out phonetically.

Yes, fantastic, it felt like all my birthdays had come at once. :-)

Of course this feeling was quickly replaced with frustration when I realised I had to be professional, and not go jabbering the face off my new found fellow Mulholland Drive enthusiast. Still, it did give me a giggle.

The moment I fell into the fissure

2008-03-20T11:15:38Z

When I mark days off in the work diary, I always use cyan as the background colour. Only today I realised that this is because it reminds me of Myst.

Plimmy plim plom plim

2008-03-19T22:47:29Z

Skoodly doop awoopee doop dahhh.

Excuse me!

You're wearing out my joie de vie.

boxofwires @ 2008-02-04T14:46:00

2008-02-04T14:52:33Z

my father was born in the 40's
they had just finished erecting the oakland apartment I now live in
since then
two single mothers
and a man who cut his face
have lived there.

Subtle - "I Love L.A."

HAPPY

2008-02-03T20:06:35Z

This message is a confirmation of your purchase from ******* via Discogs.

Order: #164279-201

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Items -- Price
---------------------------------------------------------------------
cLOUDDEAD - Apt. A (10") -- EUR 21.80
http://www.discogs.com/release/89501
Condition: Near Mint (NM or M-) / Sleeve Condition: Mint (M)
NEAR PERFECT COPY !

Order Total: EUR 21.80

An' you'll dance a fine jig between heaven and hell

2008-01-19T17:29:12Z

cat dog | sed 's/woof/miaow/g' > cat

2007-09-22T20:21:01Z

cat cat

boxofwires @ 2007-09-21T22:33:00

2007-09-21T21:31:06Z

I am wearing my pulling underwear tonight.

I have never laughed so hard this year

2007-09-20T09:36:28Z

It was the best butter..

2007-09-17T18:57:32Z

I put my nice noise cancelling earbud headphones through the wash last night.

Surprisingly enough when I tried them this afternoon they actually sounded better than ever.

Not only that, but they smelled pine fresh, and looked sparkly and new.

boxofwires @ 2007-09-14T01:13:00

2007-09-14T00:19:04Z

Logfile hell
Originally uploaded by ivanruane

I always end up finding out about customers' email infrastructure the hard way.

I.E. set something up, something else breaks, sit in a freezing server room til 20:30 to get it working again.

It's never much help when this is a major bank and you have a manager sitting there waiting to go home.

In other news, I have a new track (well, a former sketch) up on Myspace. I hate it.

Cannabis ruins mind

2007-09-13T07:08:18Z

Cannabis ruins mind
Originally uploaded by ivanruane

My mother brought this cutout from a newspaper with her last time she came to visit.

It's amazing to think that writing of this quality is making it into the Independent. Notice the complete lack of scientific fact.

The article is about cannabis, a "dangerous drug", but he goes on to say that most of the patients admitted are also drinking, and taking ecstasy and cocaine. So where are the figures from studies on cannabis alone?

It looks like he saw this as an opportunity to get on his fnord-fuelled soap box. But he's a Top Doctor kids. Don't question him!

Writer's Block: Trading Spaces

2007-08-23T14:04:07Z

If you could be another person for a day, who would it be and why?

Rick James, bitch!

(Not now, seeing as he's dead and all. Back in the 70s. Fuck yo couch!)

Big blue

2007-08-17T00:07:37Z

I asked my manager if I could fuck off earlier than usual today, and he said it was ok.

So i hopped in the car and scooted off to Foxrock before the traffic jams began. Eventually found the house of Mr. Buy and Sell, who showed me into a massive studio with racks and racks of flashing lights, knobs and sliders. A pro tools console and three LCD monitors took up the whole width of the room. There was a Prophet 10 there, which they'd bought off Tears for Fears. Holy shit! He even let me touch it.

So I had a play around with the synth I'd actually gone there to buy, while chatting about sequencers and our respective stances on the neverending hardware vs software debate. The synth was in very good nick, covered in a layer of dust (a good sign), no bumps or scratches. Turned out they were just trying to flog some gear they didn't need, it wasn't even his. I asked what was the least he'd take and he said 400. 50 less than the asking price. I was like, er.. ok that's cool! I was going to offer 420 at least but he beat me to it.

Handed over the cash, took it under my arm and fucked off. My, was I grinning from ear to ear! A childhood fantasy finally come true. I couldn't contain my happiness as I jetted off home with early Nightmares on Wax pumping out of my subwoofer.

I recently bought a 2-tier keyboard stand, it now sits very nicely under my 101. I am forced to go to bed and leave my new friend until tomorrow evening. In the few hours I've had to play with it, it's blown my socks off. In a few seconds I hit on the exact sound in "Rhubarb" by Aphex Twin, and just kept playing it over and over and over, bass and everything. It pisses all over Yamaha's half-assed attempt at a virtual analogue polysynth. I've retired the aforementioned to the corner. I can't see it ever getting plugged in again.

boxofwires @ 2007-08-16T14:19:00

2007-08-16T13:22:42Z

Well the fucker selling the drum machine listed it as Wordwide, but when I asked for shipping quote he said Australia only. Grrrr!

So now I have 250 odd quid to spend. Luckily I may have the chance to fulfill a childhood dream and pick up one of these for cheap in Buy and Sell!

The very sight of one of these things is enough to make my heart skip a beat. I've wanted one since I first saw it in my first copy of Future Music at age 16.

boxofwires @ 2007-08-10T14:34:00

2007-08-10T14:02:53Z

Currently drinking Lucozade Alert. Contains caffeine, ginseng, glucose and guarana. My head might explode. Will report back.

I've been getting more frustrated by the day by Ableton Live on my now very dated G4 Powerbook, and have started drooling over hardware drum machines again. I'm considering getting one of these to expand my vintage analog arsenal:

Individual outputs for all drum sounds, transmits midi clock/Roland DIN sync, and clock pulse. Plus those crazy 80s kicks and snares that you hear in so many acid tracks! Ohhhh I think I just had an accident!

Cake is a made up drug

2007-05-17T19:37:34Z

After a few freeze-frames of the Brass Eye DVD, and a little while in Photoshop, I went onto CaféPress and made me one of these!

I hope they don't complain that it violates their terms of service.. :o)

Hello Dad, I'm in Jail

2007-05-09T14:00:29Z

The internet is always full of little surprises :o)

Stumbled over this last night, on my way to bed. An animated short from the MTV series "Liquid Television" from the late 80s. Back in the day..

This was fantastic, dark, edgy, cryptic, and very very trippy. They used to show it on Def II (BBC2) in the evenings. The original Aeon Flux featured, among other things which varied from the immensely funny to the mildly disturbing.

This one features the voice of someone who sounds suspiciously like Jello Biafra, and animation that beats the shit of of Pink Floyd's "Empty Spaces".

I'm downloading the full series off BitTorrent now, very very slowly..

Wriggle

2007-04-23T11:08:30Z

Dear ******,

We have received your payment for the following order.

Your tickets will be sent to international addresses 4 weeks before the festival and to UK addresses 3 weeks before the festival.

1 x Glade Festival Ticket @ £110.00
Booking Fees: £6.60
International Postage and Packing: £6.00
Total ex VAT: £104.34
VAT: £18.26
Total: £122.60

Your tickets will be sent to the following address:

**********
**********
**********
**********
Dublin
Ireland

Phone number: *********
Email: ********************

Sincerely,

GTickets ltd

The boom-boxes and the hot concrete

2007-04-22T14:48:59Z

I'd just downloaded a torrent of "Me & You and & Everyone We Know".

Opened it up and I was greeted with an image that I've been seeing since my formative years, but never really looked at.

The first few times I saw it would have been through a toddler's eyes. And I always thought it was very strange why the big cat was in the middle of the circle. I wondered what he would be doing there, if he was there by choice or if someone had put him there against his will, why he wasn't off chasing zebras or something like that.

I think I knew a bit about what lions did to pass the time, we had been to the zoo on family outings and I'd been fascinated by the little talking information points, with a hard-wearing metal "play" button and a speaker grille on the brushed metal front panel. "Hello, my name is so-and-so, and I'd like to tell you something about lions". I pressed play again and again, and eventually had to be dragged away from it. I asked my Dad will he get me one. He cleverly put me off by saying we'd go look for one in the dump some day.

I used to dream about our future trip to the dump. In my mind, it was a utopian dream of disused shiny metal appliances. I wondered what other delights awaited me. There might even have been some broken record players. My best friend was my screwdriver. I had to take the back off and look inside. It was like magic, pressing a little black button the turntable would start to spin, the tonearm delicately depositing itself on the edge of the disc with a crackle and a thump. This was the most enchanting part. You would sit in expectation, never knowing exactly when the music would begin.

I never got my talking information point. I did get a working record player for Christmas at age ten. It had brushed metal "bass" and "treble" controls. It was fully automatic, had three speeds, and had a releasing ratchet spindle which would drop the next record when the previous one was finished. When you switched it off, the capacitors would discharge, sending a massive thump through the speakers. It could go up to 11, and frequently did. I used to play my favourite bit of a song over and over, lifting the headshell and dropping it back where the pattern of the groove changed.

What a pity I only had my parents record collection to experiment with. If I'd been a bit more clued in, started listening to pirate radio a little earlier, I might have realised that there were better things you could listen to on vinyl than "The World of Phase 4 Stereo" and "Rolf Harris Greatest Hits". There were some gems in there though. My mother had an original copy of the 45 RPM of "Killing Me Softly" by Roberta Flack. You needed an adaptor to play it. The label said "Atlantic", with a curl on the A which appeared to swish outwards as the record spun. The record was lost when we moved house. If I still had it today, I would treasure it. I could write an entirely seperate entry about the unsettling and mystifying images the song conjured in my mind. A child's interpretation of an adult's experience. There were lots of mirrors.

Hee hee!

2007-04-20T09:27:02Z

This site gave me one hell of a giggle.

The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

La la la

2007-04-19T10:07:12Z

Ever since I made the move to Macintosh I have been unable to use a rake of handy plugins, specifically Autotune. I know it's become horribly ubiquitous in pop music at this stage, and the mention of it conjures up memories of everything from Craig David to Cher. But still, I'm not a very good singer and I like the way it makes my voice sound acceptable. It also means I can make lush layered choral pads by just going "ahhhhh" at different pitches, which is quite handy.

So last night I finally decided that it had been too long. I ressurrected my old Pentium 233 which I found in a skip in college about eight years ago. After much slaving I got a copy of Cubase 3 onto it, and installed the old Autotune plugin. Luckily I had the right cable to connect the sound card to my mixer, so now I can use it on any sound source. Four hours work, but it was all worthwhile as I looked up the lyrics for Donovan's "Ballad of a Crystal Man", applied gratuitous amounts of reverb, and vocalised away til half past three. Tomorrow I am going to cover "Caravan of Love". Watch me. :o)

Sickened

2007-04-17T12:08:26Z

I feel like reporting my mother to the ISPCA.

When she goes on holidays, she would rather leave the dog locked in her run than send her to kennels. The "run" is about four square metres maximum. Of course this is ok, because I can drive out (a 30 mile round trip) to top up her food dish.

This has become common practice. She only expects me to throw some food at the poor helpless animal and head back to the city again, and make the visit twice a week. Need I mention that this happens in winter as well, and the kennel she has doesn't offer very much protection from the elements.

Any time I show up, I can hear the distressed yipping from the end of the driveway before I even get to the house. When I reach her she is always in a state, throwing herself frantically at the door, smacking her head off the wooden roof and not noticing. The mother rings me on the evening she knows I'll be heading out, telling me exactly how much tinned food to give her, because she only needs a little bit to put flavour on the dry food. Usually she hasn't even eaten what she has, I would put this down to loneliness. Sometimes I have to buy the dog food as well because she was too fucking miserly/lazy to buy any before leaving.

I usually spend the rest of the evening with her, bringing her for walks, giving her the full tin of food against my mother's advice, sitting with her curled up on my lap. Only when I know she's in good form again can I begin to think about leaving. Leaving is the worst part. Of course she knows at this stage that this is the way things are done. I open her kennel door and she pads in obediently, head down. I put the full dish and drinking water in beside her, and she looks out at me, with these plaintive eyes. I can hear her howling as I lock the front door and get into the car. I try and block it out as best I can. There's nothing I can do.

So yesterday I was chopping up some amen breaks when saw the familiar "Home" appear on my phone screen as it began to chirp. It's mother, telling me that I should remember to blink often if I'm looking at the computer screen, as having dry eyes for extended periods of time can cause long-term damage. later, as an aside, she mentioned that the dog had been attacked by two vicious labradors, and now has a massively swollen elbow joint. She needed to be carried back to the house from where she was attacked.

I asked if she thought she should bring her to the vet. She said "well, no, I brought her out later and she was able to walk". I asked if she thought the dog might still be in pain and need attention. In reply, she mentioned the 50 euro charge. I offered to go halves and was met with the response "ah she's looking well, she'll recover".

I just hope she gets some sort of payback in the next life.

Fume

2007-04-16T19:48:21Z

After a recent change of abode, I now have the luxury of digital TV for an extra five euro per month.

Talk about a pile of shit. I've been in this apartment for a month now and could count on one hand the amount of hours spent watching it.

The only thing I've really enjoyed are nature programs such as Meerkat Manor, and Mythbusters is sometimes a welcome diversion, except when they're trying to make exploding spittle. Not exactly the best thing to eat your dinner to, although Carrie makes it all worthwhile. <3

Any time I pick up that god damn remote control my frustration increases beyond measurable limits. After some channel hopping, I eventually think Seinfeld would do for a giggle. Only five minutes later, another ad break. "Ever feel ashamed about the horrible gurgles coming from your insides when you're dieting? We have the answer. New 0% fat yoghurt". Sweet Jesus. Someone shoot me now.

Good thing I scooted out to the shops at the weekend and bought a load of wires. No siree, not with which to hang myself! These will let me connect my laptop to the TV to watch all those movies I've been downloading. Mighty Boosh Season 2. Woohoo! NTL can suck it.

As an aside, I've been all teary-eyed and goosebumpy nostalgic, rediscovering how much I love Squarepusher - "Steinbolt", in all of its gut wrenchingly merciless graphically realistic violence. Later sitting dazed on the couch in the aftermath of this sonic onslaught, I thought about how there are so many people to whom I could never communicate how this makes me feel. It reminded me of a time when I played "Two Bass Hit" for somebody. Their only comment was:

"Is this the theme tume from Seinfeld?"